Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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