Its about making memories worth repressing
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize