after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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