kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
