mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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