i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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