Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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