so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
