I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
