Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize