Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
