these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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