therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
