dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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