You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
