i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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