Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
