Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize