Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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