hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
