Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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