I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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