I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
