i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
apparently the secret to your success is patron
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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