Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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