Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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