Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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