Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
