no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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