So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
