shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
