call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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