...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize