Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
