im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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