That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
