So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just pee around me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
