If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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