dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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