I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
