The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize