Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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