Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
