I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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