i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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