Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
sex in a hospital.. check
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
