im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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