I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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