Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
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Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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