I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
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Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
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She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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