Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
