just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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