I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
