your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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