Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
