did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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