I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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