Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
