Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
