so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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