I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize