Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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