the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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