I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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