lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
