I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
